


Bearenstain Effect

by brodeurbunny30



Category: Star Trek: Lower Decks (Cartoon)
Genre: Boimler really loves assignments, Gen, Mission Fic, Monoliths, Murder Hornets, Shenanigans, Time Travel, Timeline What Timeline, Timey-Wimey, Yuletide, i live for rutherford's okey dokey in every episode, set in season 1 somewhere, so much handwaving
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:07:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28144338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brodeurbunny30/pseuds/brodeurbunny30
Summary: During assignments, Beckett receives an encrypted message that sets her and the squad on an adventure to remember. Mostly because everything goes wrong, and now the Time Police are coming. Ooops?
Comments: 4
Kudos: 7
Collections: Yuletide 2020





	Bearenstain Effect

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sandyk](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sandyk/gifts).



> Dear yuletide Sandyk,
> 
> Thank you for requesting these loveable dorks. I love this show so much. It's actually the only Star Trek show I watch so most of what I know about Star Trek is from this show and what I could google without hurting my brain too much. I hope you enjoy this little adventure I concocted for you. It's been a HELLUVA year, and couldn't resist weaving a bit of ye olde 2020 into this story. I hope you are in good health and are managing the best you can. I hope this brings you some well needed joy.

THE BEARENSTAIN EFFECT

“Hey everyone!” Boimler bounced into the Beta shift quarters with the happiest expression and the loudest voice. “GUESS WHAT TIME IT IS?”

Beckett Mariner sat up from her bunk, unimpressed as usual. “Time for you quiet down, gosh, some of us binge drink as a hobby.”

Boimler ignored her snarky tone and continued to spread excitement. “IT’S ASSIGNMENT TIME!” 

“Weeeeee,” Mariner groaned from her bunk. “God, why are you even excited anymore? Hasn’t this ship drained all the excitement out of you yet?”

“I see _someone_ is still cranky after drills,” Boimler said loudly. He ignored her complaining and pulled up his PADD. “Ooooooh I get to work on the Warp Core today! Oh my god I LOVE THE WARP CORE,” he yelled, still incredibly pumped. In reality, since the _Cerritos_ entered orbit around Earth, he’d been getting some very _interesting_ assignments.

“Great, I wonder what lame assignment I’ll get today,” she complained, knowing full well she’s been in her mother's bad books all week. “Maybe I’ll get to clean carbon off the carbon filters again, wouldn’t that be great?” she asked no one in particular.

Her PADD refreshed and her assignment popped up, and everything looked fine at first glance, but then she noticed the issue.

“Why did my PADD screen just flip to this gobbledygook? God, I hate new software, it’s always so buggy,” she tried clearing it but it was still stuck on a strange language setting.

“Ooooh that’s weird, I wonder what language it is,” Boimler grabbed her PADD and tried to interpret the language. “It’s nothing I’ve ever seen.”

“You know, that really doesn’t say much. You know like… two languages, and Klingon you learn from weapons manuals doesn’t count.”

“Hey, I am this close to getting to level three in Klingon on Duolingo. It’s just like, _really_ hard to appease that green bird when we’re always working on ship stuff.”

“I’m going to get Rutherford to look at this, maybe his cyborg implant knows what it is,” she said, ignoring him. “I don’t even know why you even bother with that program. It’s like a BAJILLION years old. Also? We have universal translators for everything now, so who are you even trying to impress?” she asked, laughing. “You are _such_ a nerd.”

They walked down the hall to find Tendi and Sam. Apparently they were pumped about assignments since they both looked happier than a Ferengi atop a pile of currency.

“Hey, what’s shakin’ bacon?” Mariner threw Sam a solid finger gun. “I bet you guys got some really wicked assignments, and that’s cool, buuuut I’mma need your Vulcan brain gizmo to look at a problem I'm having.” She flipped around her PADD so the others could see what she was talking about.

“See this? Something is totally messed up with my PADD and it’s glitching hard," she pointed to a set of windows displaying nothing but bizarre symbols. "For some stupid reason, it looks like my assignment is in some crazy hieroglyphics, or something?" she grumbled. "Think you can give it a quick scan, and maybe a tune up?” 

Rutherford's face lit up with excitement. He always loved a good problem.

“Ooooh, diagnostics AND a repair. This is great!” Rutherford took her PADD and started tapping in some commands. “Oooh this is weird, but it’s actually a known Federation language!" He typed a few more spots, while they stood by on tenterhooks. "Oh, _this_ is neat!” "You're killing me, Rutherford! Just tell us what's going on!" Mariner whined. "Okey dokey," he chirped happily as he flipped the PADD back to face Mariner. “It’s actually a crypto-language used for super secret black ops assignments! Isn't that cool?”

Mariner rubbed her temples. “Do you have any way to decode it?”

Rutherford tapped his implant, “working on it!”

Next to them, Tendi was nearly dancing with excitement. “Crypto-language? That is SO cool. Is there any indication what kind of Ops you’re going to be involved in? Maybe you’ll have to [REDACTED] another [REDACTED] like I did six months ago!”

Mariner rolled her eyes. “You know, you don’t have to actually say ‘REDACTED’ every time you tell the story. You can just make up something else. No one here actually wants to rat you out.”

"I'm sorry." Tendi pouted. “I just wanted to feel included in the excitement.” 

Rutherford patted her on the shoulder. “You are _always_ included, you’re a main character in this story! Just like us!” Rutherford assured her, and smiled. 

“Aw, thanks,” she gave him a soft doe-eyed look that Mariner chose to ignore. 

“Okay team, let’s set the decoder on this bad boy,” she exclaimed, pointing at Sam to do his thing. 

“Shouldn’t we be cautious?" He fidgeted, wondering if he was the only one concerned about the code's origin. "What if someone hacked into our system and this was like a virus or something _nefarious_?”

Mariner glared at him. “Nuts to that. There is literally nothing this ship can’t handle. Did you ever think this might be a secret black op that I’ve been assigned _on purpose_? Hmmm? Have some faith. Okay, for reals Rutherford, run it.”

Boimler wasn't ready to let it go. “If we’re Court Martialed, I’m telling them it’s all your fault,” he said loudly, and began pacing next to their little huddle. No one paid his wails of protest any attention.

Ever faithful, Rutherford followed Mariner’s orders and set to work. He clicked a few more spots on the screen and tapped his implant to synch it. 

“Oooooh it’s a time travel assignment! I thought those were only assigned to the Temporal Integrity Commission,” Rutherford stated as he read the details.

“Get out! That's awesome!” Mariner grabbed the PADD from him. “Uh, yeah, I mean, of course they are, _usually_ anyway.” She was beyond excited, but there was no reason to look this thrilled about it in front of Boimler. So she tamped it down, and acted nonchalant. 

“Okay, so this assignment came through on my PADD and you decoded it, so _technically_ we’d be following orders if we were to carry out this assignment,” she spoke loud enough for Boimler to hear. 

He was looking more and more interested in her findings by the second.

“And, we can’t get Court Martialed for completing it, _even_ if it was sent to me in error,” Mariner said, as she nodded at Boimler. He looked a little relieved.

He grabbed for her PADD, and she let him take it. “I’d say that’s a _bureaucratic error_.” 

“It sure is,” she agreed, grinning mischievously.

“Okay guys, let's do this,” she said, mind set.

Boimler’s trademark grimace came back for an encore. “Okay, not to be a wet blanket, but we don’t know how to time travel?" He was wringing his hands with worry. "Well, I’m sure we have the _ability_ … but like, do we even know how to _properly_ time travel?” his voice was beginning to crack nervously. 

Mariner threw her arm around his shoulder, trying to ease his anxiety. “Listen, time travel isn’t that hard. You just have to follow the assignment parameters, stay within the mandates and protocols and come back. Easy peasy. Dumber people had been doing it for years, and the continuum still exists just fine. What could go wrong?”

“Oh god, seriously?” Boimler threw his hands up emphatically. “ _Everything_ could go wrong? What if we ruin the timeline and one of us disappears? What if we wipe ourselves from existence? What if we wipe the ship and its crew from existence? Oh there is SO much that could go wrong,” he wailed catching the attention of crew members nearby. 

Mariner corralled him away from the prying eyes.

“It’ll be fine. Honestly, there are protocols in place to make sure dumb stuff doesn’t happen. It’s no big whoop,” Mariner said coolly. "So, relax." 

He glowered at her. “All I'm saying, is that you should bring this to the Captain, it’s probably an error. You’ll get commended for bringing it to her attention, and you won’t have to mess up the timeline!” he pleaded. "I mean, that's one way of dealing with it," she admitted. "But, here me out, what if we crushed this very minor, but totally cool, assignment and we went to the Captain victorious and successful? Won’t it be the exact kind of brown nosing overachieving you need to get a promotion? Hmm? Doesn’t that sound way better?”

Boimler kept running his fingers through his hair, thinking about her suggestion.

That’s when she knew she had him. He was so malleable; completely predictable when it came to his need to do his “best” and “work hard” in order to be “commended” and “promoted”. To be honest, his need to perform his duties to exact Starfleet standards was both impressive and annoying. Good thing he was still really fun to have around _despite_ his incessant need to be the perfect Starfleet ensign. Besides, there was just enough of a half-assing weasel in him that she enjoyed his company.

“Okay, okay, okay…” He was nearly hyperventilating at this point. “Let’s say this is doable, and we do the thing. I don’t even know what the thing is, but we’ll do the thing. Then we’ll come back and we’ll go to the Captain with the major win under our belts. Then what? Be in her good books? Maybe get a promotion?” he asked no one in particular as he worked out the details in his mind.

“I mean, sounds like a good plan to me. So are you _onboard_?” Mariner let the word hang in the air, prompting him to make a decision.

He sighed. “Alright, I'm in,” he said decisively. “But we can’t do it alone.”

Mariner shrugged. “I mean, I assumed we’d take Rutherford and Tendi with us, cause duh, we’re going to need an engineer and a medical officer, that’s just the responsible thing to do.”

Both Tendi and Rutherford, who had been eavesdropping the entire discussion, cheered. 

Tendi was pumping her fists in the air. Mariner walked over and threw her arms around them. “Seriously, guys. Believe me, I’d never space travel without my squad ever," she stated serious. "Boy did I learn that lesson last time," she reflected with a shudder. "Just, yikes."

Boimler’s eyes widened and his mouth fell open. “SWait, _last time_? You’ve time traveled before?”

“Yeah, like it’s hard?” Mariner said sarcastically. “No, seriously, it wasn’t a big deal. Like I said, as long as you do the thing _properly_ … it’s fine, or mostly fine. There’s some technical details and stuff, but they’re mostly suggestions cause the timeline is very wibbly-wobbly timey wimey….stuff. You know, right?”

:No, Mariner, I do _not_ know!" he complained loudly. “That’s why I think it’s a bad idea for us to be doing this. I’m sure Rutherford and Tendi feel the same," he looked over at them. "Right guys?" 

“Nah, let’s do it,” Rutherford said, his voice bursting with positivity. “I’ve been _dying_ to actually use the transporters for time travel. The technology is just sitting there! And it’s just _so_ tempting!" He pointed at the PADD again. "Plus, now that we’ll have some authorization codes, I just can’t wait to get started. It’s going to be so cool!” Rutherford was practically vibrating with excitement, although that might have just been the implant.

“Yes, yes to all of that,” Tendi jumped in, giving the team a double thumbs up. “And I would LOVE to see what happens when you time travel. Like I have _so_ many medical questions about the effects of it on our bodies and I just… yeah, I’m in. I am so stoked!”

Mariner just stood there grinning. “Okay team, minus Boimler, I’m going to review the assignment and hit the bathroom, cause you do *not* want to time travel with a full bladder. It's just… it’s a mess. Believe me.”

“That’s actually a really good heads up,” Tendi agreed. Boimler just stood there, it was all he could do. Sadly it was three-to-one, and there was no way he wanted to be the ensign left behind on what would potentially be a once-in-a-lifetime assignment. “Okay, fine!" he snapped. "I’m in too, but I'm probably going to complain a lot.”

"I knew you had it in you,” Mariner said, shoving the PADD under her arm, and taking a step back.

She gave her happy little team a long look. “Okay, everyone, go pee and meet you in thirty minutes, in the bay. Peace!” Beckett commanded, and the whole squad cheered.

As she made her way back to her quarters, she still found it hard to believe the amount of excitement and nervous energy she was feeling about this accidental new assignment.

Venturing into the unknown? Check.

Daring adventure full of danger? Check

A golden ticket for chaos and excitement? Oooh, double check.

This was going to be great.

***

Inside the transporter bay, Tendi and Rutherford were already waiting. Rutherford had his tools out and he was tweaking something on the console, and Tendi was bouncing in place with a large medical sack hung around her shoulder.

“Where’s Boimler?” Mariner asked. To be honest, she was half expecting Boimler to bail, so it wasn’t surprising to her that he was missing.

“I’m here!” shouted Boimler from the other end of the bay. “I’m coming!” He ran to them, and only stopping when he nearly ran into Tendi.

“Sorry, I’m late. Let’s do this,” he said, his voice betraying his fear and anxiety over the assignment.

Mariner crossed her arm, giving him a very intense look. “Listen, if it makes you feel better, I wasn’t perfect on my first time jump mission. BUT I learned a TON, so we don’t have to worry about anything. Plus if we make a mistake, that’s what the Time Travel police are for. Believe me, they are always fixing things," she assured him. "A quick look at ancient Earth history will shock you. Like because of them, you don’t even remember when the Bearenstain Bears were the Bearen-STEIN bears,” she tapped her PADD and pulled up a cover of the popular children's books.

“Oh, I've heard of those!" Boimler said, then stopped. "Wait, they’re not the BearenSTEIN Bears? Why? What made them change?”

“I totally learned about them in Earth history as the BearenSTAIN Bears,” T’endi added. “This is where it gets wild," she started. "You see, if you remember them as BearenSTEIN Bears it means you’re from the _other_ timeline, the ‘Weasel ‘Verse’ one.”

“Oh I know that story!” Rutherford jumped in. “In 2016, they were testing the CERN supercollider and a weasel got into the chamber, and basically split the universe into a chaotic offshoot. Oh boy did things get _weird_.” He shook his head. 

“Oooh, I remember!” Tendi jumped in, “but the Time Police cleaned that right up so we remember the original Earth history instead of the ‘Weasel-verse’ version. Like when Nelson Mandela became president of South Africa after he got out of prison.”

Boimler’s mouth hung open again. “You mean, he didn’t die in prison? I distinctly remember reading that he died in prison.”

Mariner shrugged again. “Wibbly wobbly timey wimey. That’s just how it is, Weasel-bro. Our assignment is so easy too. Just chill, we’ll get this done and we’ll look _so_ smart and capable. You’ll be a shoe in for a new promotion. I guarantee it.”

“Then why do I feel like we’re about to make a reaaaaally big mistake,” Boimler said dramatically.

“That’s just your default setting. Gotta relax. Now, let’s go over the mission.”

***

Mariner, Boimler and Tendi were waiting on the transporter patiently, as Rutherford remotely guided a hover lift carrying a large silver monolith onto the platform with them.

“What even is this thing?” Boimler stared at it intently. Monoliths were super weird in the first place, and having one on the platform with them was even weirder. There was no inscription, no lights, no indication that it was anything other than just a chunk of metal.

Mariner tapped her PADD. “Okay, soooo we have to dump this chunk of metal into a Utah canyon on Earth 2060.”

“OH MY GOSH! EARTH?” Tendi shouted. “I’ve never been! I just thought I’d be watching it through our monitor this whole time. This is SO exciting.”

Boimler was more suspicious. “So what are we doing with it, do we just leave it? Or are we doing anything? Meeting anyone?”

“Nope,” Mariner shook her head. “Get in, dump the metal whatevermachallit, and leave. Bingo, bango and we’re done.”

“Well, that’s not so bad. Get in, get out," he agreed, that bit of news was reassuring at least.

“Yeah, see I told you to relax,” Mariner said with a smirk. “Okay, Rutherford! We’re ready when you are!”

“Okey dokey!” Rutherford was still pressing some buttons. “I’m just sending the encrypted code from the assignment into the console. It has to decrypt it for the authorization codes to work, so it’ll take a minute,” he said. “Oooh looks like it's all good! Okay, so Utah, Earth, 2060. Have fun!”

With that they beamed down to Earth.

***

They reappeared in a high walled canyon under a bright blue sky. It was dry, with only a small gust of wind and it was very hot.

Boimler felt his body still tingly well after they had beamed in.

“Is anyone else tingly? Or is it just me?” he asked nervously, while guiding the hover lift with the monolith. It was very bright out, with a high afternoon sun that heated the dirt around them like coals over a fire.

Tendi shouted next to him. “I am SO tingly!” 

Mariner rolled her eyes. “See? I told you guys it felt weird. It wears off though. So you can stop worrying, Boimler.”

"I will never _not_ worry," Boimler said with certainty as he walked around the area with the monolith in tow.

Mariner dug out her PADD, and cursed when she noticed that the instructions had reverted to the encrypted code. “Oh this is so annoying, it’s flipped back to the encryption glyphs. This is so dumb. I can’t even confirm where, or more importantly when we are.”

“What?” Boimler asked nervously. Without a confirmation of where they were, they risked screwing up the mission and then screwing up the time continuum in turn. With the unpredictable nature of time travel and its effects... it'd be irresponsible to leave anything in the past unless they knew for sure it was the right thing to do. “Should we even leave the monolith? Can you get Rutherford to fix it?”

He brought the monolith to a halt.

Mariner wasn’t altogether worried about it, since it was a pretty minor mission. Sure, it would have been better to confirm their location, but they were out of luck. She didn't see too many reasons why they shouldn't let the monolith down in the canyon. It was so unlikely that anyone from 2060 would even find it any time soon, anyway. They were so far from civilization out here in the desert. Plus, they were here now without any other options but to leave it. She also trusted Rutherford. So as the ranking officer, she was totally fine with just leaving the monolith and beaming back out.

“Yeah, I don’t think it’s that big of a deal,” Mariner lied. Deep inside, she was a little concerned, but good officers crammed that bit of emotion right down into their gut. There’s no benefit to making the whole team panic unnecessarily.

She tapped her PADD and badge, “Rutherford, my main man. We’re going to put down the asset and then you can beam us out.”

While she was talking, Boimler maneuvered the monolith onto the ground, choosing to put it in a clearing free of boulders, and where the ground seemed the flattest.

There was static coming through on the comms. Mariner repeated her request. Still just static.

Tendi, who up to now was just walking around the canyon floor collecting rocks and finding cool bugs, immediately came over to see what was going on. “Is everything okay?”

“Oh yeah, just fine. Just that the comms are acting buggy,” she explained.

Finally after a few more minutes, his now garbled voice came through. “I found you, did you place the asset?”

“Yes, we sure did,” Mariner answered.

“Beaming you back, now,” Rutherford’s voice crackled over the static and Mariner was very relieved to hear it.

All three ensigns clumped together and were beamed back to the Cerritos.

***

“Welcome back!” Rutherford yelled. “I’m yelling because the console just started buzzing really loudly and I’m trying to fix it.”

“It’s okay!” Tendi yelled back, and Mariner stepped off the platform, ignoring them.

She had to do a scan to see if they were successful.

“What are you doing?” Boimler asked, noticing her tense concentration as she tapped at her PADD. “What are you looking for?”

“You know, the usual. Just checking to see if anything wonky happened to the timeline. No big deal,” she said casually.

“Oh, okay,” Boimler nodded like he understood what she said, when in fact he did not.

“Oh crap,” Mariner said. “Okay, yeah, that didn’t work. Rutherford.”

Rutherford looked up from the console, taking a break from the buzzing bit of tech. “What went wrong?”

“We didn’t actually beam to Earth 2060, and we weren’t even in Utah. Yikes," she said, reading some information. "I ran a quick scan on our normal timeline… and now there’s ‘murder hornets’ ruining everyone's lives on earth in 2020. There aren’t supposed to be newsworthy murder hornets on Earth,” Mariner explained. “Well, not that _early_ anyway.”

“Oh man, that’s not good.” Rutherford said, scratching his head. “Hmm, I wonder if between the decryption process it screwed with the address and date. We know now that we sent you to 2020. But I'll need to run a scan to see where you _actually_ beamed to, location wise.”

Mariner nodded. So what if there were murder hornets in 2020? They weren't _that_ bad. As long they didn't cause something worse to happen.

“Wait,” interrupted Boimler. He was taking a cue from her and doing a scan on the timeline. “It’s not just murder hornets in 2020. It's a major star. We _literally_ just made a star disappear. This isn’t good, that star was part of a civilization that the Federation was supposed to work with in the not so distant future," he cried. "HOW DID WE JUST GET RID OF A STAR?” 

“I DON”T KNOW,” Mariner yelled back. She was becoming increasingly frustrated by the second.

“Oooh here it is," Rutherford stepped in and showed them his PADD. "According to this I _actually_ sent you to 2016 instead. Oh yeah, I see it, it should have carried the decimal there. Software, it’ll getcha!” Rutherford explained, unfazed, his tone still matter of fact and polite.

“Send us back! We’ll get the dumb silver thing and bring it back to the right year,” Mariner reached out and grabbed Boimler by his uniform and dragged him to the platform. 

Tendi instinctively followed, but Mariner gave her a look, and tossed her PADD in her direction.

“You stay here and monitor the timeline. We need to get it in the right place or the Time Police will find us, and that is a meeting I don’t want to have again.”

Boimler cried out next to her. “What do you mean _again_?”

***

They beamed into Utah and immediately saw the monolith. Boimler directed the lift next to it, and got it loaded, and beamed back out.

They installed and uninstalled the monolith in Utah (again!), California, Romania, and even _Australia_ , trying desperately to just get to 2060. Their shenanigans were causing insane things to happen to the timeline in the year 2020. Some bizarre headlines including but not limited to: massive alien holes in the arctic tundra, mystery drones over Colorado, Kanye West running for President, Kanye West _becoming_ President, then _not_ being President, and one insane incident of a monkey rebellion starting with the theft of 2020 Covid virus samples.

***

So they beamed back to where they thought was a canyon in Utah, Earth, 2060.

“I _really_ hate that tingling,” Boimler said, as he looked around where they stood. He couldn’t put his finger on it but something didn’t feel right. “Are you sure we’re in the right time and space?”

Mariner took a turn at negotiating the monolith, and dumped it on the dirt where they stood. “At this point, I don't care if it's the right time or space. Come get me Time pigs,” she grumbled weakly.

So Rutherford beamed them back.

***

“ _Please_ tell me we fixed it,” Mariner begged. Boimler was stonefaced and exhausted by her.

Tendi tapped at the PADD. “Let’s see, hmmm, things are looking good. OH. President Trump ...uh, he lost his second term… to a Biden? I thought he was a two term president in Earth history.”

Mariner grabbed the PADD. “Hmm, that’s not what is supposed to happen.. But like, I feel like that’s an improvement,” she cursed. “This is stupid because honestly I think we should just say screw it and give up cause that seems like we did the universe a favor," she complained, completely fed up. 

“Oh NO!” Boimler cried. “You can’t say that. Can’t we go back? I can’t believe I’ve been accomplice in this. This is it. We’re going to be dragged away by the Time Police. We’re going to be Court Martialed. I’ll have to go back to living with my parents!” He was nearly sobbing.

Tendi tried to console him, “it’s okay, it might not be that bad.” But her voice didn’t sound that convincing.

Out of nowhere an alarm sounded, and set them all on edge.

“What’s that Rutherford?” Mariner asked, as her whole body went into defense mode.

It was an alarm they’d never heard before. Were they being attacked? It wasn’t a Red Alert alarm, unless he was messing with it again.

Rutherford was scrambling at the console, and tapping away at his PADD. “I don’t know! I don’t recognize it! Hold on, there’s an incoming beam!”

Mariner drew her phaser, and the others copied her. They waited as the transporter lit up and three men in black uniforms beamed onto the platform.

“Time Police!” she yelled and they all gasped. She was the only one to have ever dealt with the Commission.

“Ensign Beckett Mariner?” One of the big men with a nefarious demeanor approached her. 

“That’s… me,” she said, gulping down her panic. Sadly, there were no good options other than go with the strange men.

“Come with us,” he pointed at the transporter platform and she followed him

Tendi yelled. “No, you can’t take her!” But Rutherford held her back and Boimler ran after her.

“You’ll have to take me too,” Boimler exclaimed, and one of the tall, dark and mysterious men grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and dragged him onto the platform too.

“Oh god, I definitely did not think you were going to agree with me. You can just leave me---” 

And he was cut off.

***

They beamed into a nearby ship, as the _Cerritos_ was visible in the navigation window.

Mariner was impressed that Boimler had decided to join her. It had been reckless and unnecessary, and likely the end of his career, but she was impressed all the same.

“Oh my god, what are they going to do to us?” Boimler whined beside her.

“Just shut up and let me talk,” Mariner shut him down. The less they said the better.

They were guided into a meeting room where a high ranking officer waited for them.

He was tall, dark complexion with bushy grey eyebrows. His face was a scowl, and he looked as if he’d just toss them out the airlock.

“Ensigns Beckett Mariner and Brad Boimler, do you know who we are?” He asked, fingers tenting.

Mariner took a deep breath and squared her shoulders, and Boimler followed suit. She cleared her throat. “Yeah, you’re from the Temporal Integrity Commission.” 

“We are,” said the officer. “And do you know why we brought you here?”

Mariner rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah, we did a time travel assignment and screwed it up. Here’s the thing, I don’t think we did actually screw it up--”

“Stop,” he said, and she was forced to stifle her anger. “Before you say anything, we just wanted to actually congratulate you.” 

“Whaaaaaaaat?” Boimler cried out with shock. “Wow, wow, wow, that is not what I thought you were going to say. Did you think that Mariner?” he rambled nervously, elbowing her. “Oh god, these guys had us going--” 

“Stop,” the officer commanded again. “We’d like to formally thank you for your outstanding efforts in completing your temporal assignment. A formal write up of your efforts has been added to your personnel records.”

“WHAT?” they asked in unison. 

The officer, who was still unnamed, nodded at them. “We’ve been working on the _2020 Paradox_ for a long time. Longer than you’ve both been alive. Through channels we cannot name, your names were indicated as a potential key factor in a solution that one of our supercomputers were working on. We submitted that assignment with the permission of your Captain, and sent you on your way. Although it was unorthodox, you did indeed solve the problem and the temporal issues have started to resolve themselves.”

“The problem being what? What’s the _2020 Paradox_? What did you we do? and what was that, that, MONOLITH for?” Boimler was shaking his head, and he gripped his hair in both hands out of exasperation. He had so many questions.

“I won’t go into detail, but we’ve been trying to find a minimalist way of shifting the 2020 US Election results. We needed the 45th President of the USA to lose his attempt at re-election,” he explained matter-of-factly.

“But about the monolith? What was so important about it?" Boimler kept demanding. "It made so many headlines. Everyone thinks it's aliens, or a government conspiracy in 2020! We can't leave it like that, can we?" Boimler asked, utterly confused.

"Part of the plan. That's all I can say about it. I'm sorry," and the mysterious officer almost looked sincere.

Boimler huffed. "So all that suffering, all that stress… all that panic? That was supposed to happen? It was good? We fixed things?” He was freaking out, and trying to process all the info.

Mariner had her own questions, this was all a bit farfetched. “So you manipulated us? This was all a… a calculated guess from a robot?” Mariner yelled, furious. She had busted her ass trying to fix this, then just gave up… and unexpectedly solved the mission? 

The officer just shrugged, unmoved by her frustration. “It’s all very wibbly-wobbly, timey wimey.”

Mariner held her breath. Then let it out. She calmed herself and walked up to the officer. “Sir, may I speak frankly?" she asked.

He nodded.

"Sir," she reached out and took his hand and shook it. "I SAY THAT EXACT SAME THING TOO,” she exclaimed frantically. She wiped at a tear in the corner of her eye, she was bubbling with laughter over the whole thing. “Gosh man, you HAD us going there for a minute,” she chuckled. “I’m like reeeeeally tired, and a little bit in shock, but like cool, cool, cool…this is fine. We just no-brained a fix for the continuum. That's just wild," she admitted. "No hard feelings?” she asked hopefully. 

The office shook his head. “None. You may now return to your ship.”

So they took their leave, and headed for the platform, and they saluted all the Commission officers as they went their way.

Boimler’s face crumpled up in surprise. “What just happened?”

“What happened is that, despite how annoying everything was, we did the thing, or as close to the thing as we could. Then the Time Police were like 'oh yeah man, good job, here’s a letter of recommendation, blah blah blah'," she said in an exaggerated impression of the Commission officers. Mariner shot finger guns at the officers guarding the platform, who had let them approach.

“Okay, well it’s been a slice Time bros. Can you beam us back to the _Cerritos_ now? I’ve got some Romulan Ale with my name on it…but like not really, cause I’m not supposed to have that,” she said, winking.

The officers fiddled with a console and she knew they were close to beaming back.

Before they did though, she looked at Boimler. “If you know what’s good for you, do _not_ say anything to anyone about any of this. Those guys were chill right now but they will straight up remove you from existence if they need to.”

“ _What_?” Boimler cried out in horror.

***

Back on the Cerritos, Tendi and Rutherford were pacing around in the transport bay looking forlorn.

The moment they beamed back, Tendi shrieked and ran over to hug them.

“What happened? We thought they threw you in Time Jail! Tell me everything?” Tendi yelled, her tone full of panic. Even Rutherford looked concerned, and that was tough to do with a Vulcan implant.

Mariner looked at Boimler who looked absolutely green with stress. He took her advice and stayed silent though.

“Oh you know, slap on the wrist. It’s fine. They moved a few things around, tinkered with the timeline a smidge. But overall, they were good with our temporal changes. It’s just like I said, no big deal. Time Police… pfffft, no big whup,” she threw her arms around their shoulders and gave them an assuring squeeze.

They looked at Boimler, somehow not believing Mariner. 

He grinned, “yup, you know the Time Police. Ha ha ha.” He tried to laugh it off but he couldn’t wait to get back to his bunk to scream into his pillow.

Mariner gave him an approving nod. “Now come on guys, who wants some Romulan whiskey, my treat.”


End file.
